I Left My Lunch in San Francisco

Today we’re reporting to you live (with 2 day tape delay) from the 2011 Fancy Foods Show in San Francisco. The weather has been beautiful and the show floor is a potpourri of chocolates, nuts, cheeses, cured meats, flavored popcorns, infused olives and so much more. I do believe there are now officially 30,000 different brands of olive oil in the world, making finding the white space in that category a little challenging. I mean how much more virgin can you be? The answer is none, none more virgin. Anyway, I ate well and never managed to accidentally snarf anything that required me to deftly regurgitate it into a napkin and casually discard it in the waste bin while simultaneously carrying on an enthusiastic conversation with the proud founder of whatever sea salt, hazelnut, mold covered dog breath flavored shrimp kernels she was hawking. So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.

Best in Show: Aside from my client Grafton Village Cheese and the Greek Yogurt place that was using Greek rent-a-babes in tight black dresses as spokespeople?…hmmm, I would have to go with Toffee Taboo for its magical power to get me to circle back to the booth two times to get more of the milk chocolate and impossibly large almond pieces in it.

Worst in Show: I would have to go with Blk Water “Taste the dark” which is water, but dark colored and infused with Fulvic acid. We got the pitch. Fulvic is a mineral that is mined, somewhere, and is nature’s most powerful antioxidant.  And because it is the smallest molecule known to man (I might need to fact check that one) it speeds the absorption rate of water. I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been super frustrated about how slowly I can absorb water. Well, okay, I guess not always, but I sure am now, now that I know it should be alot faster. Despite its miraculous properties, Fulvic lacks some sex appeal as molecules go, so I do suggest they take a little creative license with the molecule naming. And, oh yeah, it tasted like something the dentist would give you. So maybe throw a little artificial flavoring in there, as long as it doesn’t slow the absorption rate. That’s key.

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